It seems that Saturday mornings have become time for reflection … and tears. This is the 2nd Saturday that we have been here, and the 2nd Saturday morning that I am struggling to reign in my tears. And so, I have let them roll down my cheeks at their will. Because trying to hold them back is pointless. I don’t know how to explain the tears, other than to say that I am overwhelmed with emotion.
There is a tiny part of me this morning that misses my American life. That misses wearing my beautiful wedding ring, texting my friends whenever I want, being online anytime, and the comfort of my plush king-size bed. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE it here. So much so that I am dreading going back to the States. But today, there is a piece of me that almost wishes I was there – safe, comfortable, easy. But I know that I’m being challenged to overcome this desire for “easy” to do more for Him. I know that this is the time that I’m to say “that stuff doesn’t matter” and step out of my comfort zone a little further. Change has always been hard for me, but I’m growing up spiritually, learning to give my burden to Him and to trust in His lead. He always does good. Jeremiah 29:11
My heart aches for these children we spend our days with:
Knowing the trauma that some of them have been through is more than many of us will ever know. Knowing that many of them are scared to leave their home for America. Knowing that they ALL prefer speaking their native Kreyol to English. Knowing that some of them will be going to northern states where the weather will be very uncomfortable to them, in addition to the extreme culture shock they will face. Wondering if their adoptive families know what they love to do or what their current schedule is like, so that they can be eased into their new life. Wondering if adoptive families will make plans to keep contact with birth parents who are still alive.
(PLEASE do not think I’m anti-adoption. I’m definitely not! This post is definitely not about adoption.)
These children have taught me so much too! They have nothing, and yet they are joyful! They are creative and fun and full of life. They sing and praise The Lord daily. They have a lot to teach some spoiled American kids (and adults)!
In these 2 weeks, I am certainly feeling called on. For what? I’m not sure. I feel that our work in Haiti is only just beginning. I feel that God has a great plan in the works for our mission here. I pray that He shares it with us when He is ready – and I pray that He prepares us for what He has in store.
