The alarm went off early – it was still dark outside. As he got dressed and prepared for the morning, I lay in bed praying … I prayed for all our loved ones and friends; for forgiveness of my impatience, anger, depression, and more; but most of all, I prayed “Your will be done.”

I got up, went and lay the black slacks at the foot of each of our boys’ beds, and whispered “Good morning!”. Then I returned to our room, kissed Gary, and crawled back under the sheets. I was too tired and too anxious to stay up. I needed to find peace with whatever God allowed to happen this morning. And so, I closed my eyes and prayed again as they got out the door.

I received text after text from our dearest friends over the early hours this morning – each one praying for a “yes”. We are blessed with such precious people to do life with.

We all hoped for a “yes”.

I couldn’t take the wait anymore. I got out of bed and got dressed. I went downstairs to start breakfast. And then I got the text from Gary … it said only one word: Denied.

I prayed it was a joke, that he would come home beaming and laughing at the evil trick he played on me. But it wasn’t. And we knew it was likely to happen. We knew that because someone else was unethical, we (our whole family) would likely be the ones to suffer the consequences.

And so, we will be in Haiti for Christmas. It will be the first Christmas we haven’t spent with my family in, well, ever. But a tropical Christmas isn’t so bad, right?

I must admit I’m sad … angry even. Not because of our “no” but for the reason for our “no”. Because another family decided to attempt to skirt the law before we had custody of our boys … because they did things wrong, and because of others like them … because of them, our family [who has done everything to the letter for our residency, leases, imports, taxes, and custody, etc.] will suffer the consequence.

God always has a plan and a purpose. We know this. I don’t really love His “no” right now. He knows this. But I trust in His plan and that somehow this is all for the better.


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